Giving My All

There once was a poor beggar who sat on a street in India, holding out his bowl all day long in hopes that passers-by would drop a few grains of rice in it.  One day as he sat in the blazing sun he realized that he only had 8 grains of rice in his bowl - not nearly enough for even a small meal.  He wondered how he would survive. 

As he looked up he saw a great procession coming down his street, led by the Prince on his elephant.  The poor beggar began to have hope.  "I will cry out to the Prince" he thought.  "Surely he will take pity on me and grant me enough to fill my bowl!"  As the Prince reached the spot where the beggar sat he cried out:  "Oh Prince!  Have pity on me for I am poor and in need."  The Prince got down from his elephant and asked the man how many grains of rice he had.  "I only have 8 grains, your Highness" replied the beggar, thinking the Prince would take pity on him.  Instead the Prince said:  "Give me some of your rice."  With heavy heart the beggar held out his bowl and told the Prince to take half.  The Prince reached into his bowl, took the 4 grains of rice and got back on his elephant to continue the procession.  As the Prince left the beggar was crestfallen.  "If only I had not asked him to take pity on me.  If only I had kept silent.  This has cost me too much. How will I make it through another day,"  he thought in his despair.  As he got up to make his way back home he glanced in his bowl.  There in place of the 4 grains of rice the Prince had taken were 4 bars of gold.  "Oh", thought the beggar, "if only I had given it all!"

I've been thinking a lot during this Season of the Cross about what it means to die to self and live for the Lord, to give it all to my Prince and not hold anything back.  Jesus said:

"If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily

and follow Me.  For whoever wants to save his life will lose it,

but whoever loses his life for Me will save it."  Luke 9



I imagine Jesus' listeners had a very visual image in their minds when He spoke these words to them.  After all there were hundreds of crucifixions happening each year.  The person condemned to death would walk down the street carrying the crossbeam to the place where he would hang to die.  How shocking then for Jesus to say to them:  take up your cross.  It was a very graphic picture of death they had seen many times.  Yet these words about losing my life for the Lord, also bring this to mind:

"Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints."  (Ps 116)

This verse from Psalms talks of physical death and it comforts me to know our Lord places value on the death of His people as He welcomes them into His kingdom.  But in some sense I believe I could also say: 'precious in the sight of the Lord is the death to self of His saints'.  More often than I care to admit I am like that beggar, holding 1/2 back.  I wonder how much I have given up by not giving all.  Oh Lord, increase my faith!